And here’s one of the hardest days for Evil Overlord. as god heroes are celebrating St. Valentine’s Day, He is constantly planing to take over the world. 101. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me -- I’ll do it myself.
102. I will not waste time making my enemy’s death look like an accident -- I’m not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn’t believe it.
104. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress codes. 105. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he’s caused.
While video game reporters from here to the Makoro Power Plant are choking on their own drool as they speculate how many audio tracks Microsoft’s Xbox will support, or how many shaded polygons a second Nintendo’s Gamecube will push, misinformer is once again a Dhalsim arm’s length ahead of the pack. This morning we received a package directly from Sony Computer Entertainment of Japan containing the first prototype of the next-next-generation of game consoles...Sony: Herro. Thees isa Sony Compyooter Entatainment of Japan. Ret’s talk, okay?
Gary: Hello, what? Um... is this Mr. Usohappyaku? I just received a Playstation 3 in the mail, and I wanted to ask you about...
Sony: Ahh-so! You a super-rucky rucky man, you! We only senda one Praystation 3 to America fora sneek preview, and you at ign.com win rottery! Congraturatons!
Gary: Actually this is misin... ign.com, yes. Hi there.
Sony: Herro?
Gary: So Mr. Usohappyaku, I can’t tell you how excited I am to have this machine in my hands. I could pee myself, I really could. Would you walk me through the new features of the PS3?
Sony: Ah yes. I ama so happy to help you, Mr. Potty man. The Praystation 3 is a super advanced machine of technology. It will confuse and amaze you two times. Rooka at the back of the machine.
What would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine card?A card that says, "I love you drool-ly!"
What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
"I love you with all my art!"
What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!
What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
"I’ve got a crutch on you!"
Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!
A valentiny!
What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
"Be my valenstein!"
What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses!
Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine’s Day!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental!
What did the paper clip say to the magnet on Valentine’s Day?
"I find you very attractive."
What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A hug and a quiche!
What did one pickle say to the other?
"You mean a great dill to me."
Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Because kidneys would look pretty gross!
What did one light bulb say to the other?
"I love you a whole watt!"
What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
Ughs and kisses!
Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Because spleens would look pretty gross!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental!
What did the bat say to his Valentine?
"You’re fun to hang around with."
What did one pickle say to the other?
"Valentine, you mean a great dill to me!"
What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
"I’m sweet on you!"
Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?
Because you always heart the one you love!
What did the elephant say to his Valentine?
"I love you a ton!"
What would you get it you crossed a blonde with the God of love?
A stupid cupid!
Why did the cannibal break up with his Valentine?
She didn’t suit his taste!
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